


The Perception of Control

by knightshade



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Torture, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 08:30:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2381756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightshade/pseuds/knightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam, Daniel, and Teal’c are captured and must find a way to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perception of Control

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Graphic sexual situations, threesome, m/m/f, m/m, voyeurism, torture (described, but not graphically)  
> Author’s Notes: This takes place somewhere in the timeline of season 7 prior to Heros.

**The Perception of Control**

 

Sam had started it. She had no illusions about how things had happened. But if pressed, she'd admit that it really all came down to Teal'c. More than anyone, she couldn't watch him come apart. If Teal'c lost it then it really was all over and they were nothing but bits and pieces on the floor. If Teal'c held it together, there was still hope. If Teal'c was in one piece, there was still time for the colonel to come through that cell door, P-90 and sarcasm blazing. There was still time for Daniel to ask what had taken so long and for all of them to pretend it hadn't been that bad -- they could have waited longer.

 

It was an artifice, one they each added to. The colonel was out there somewhere right now, greeting reinforcements that had just come through the gate or sneaking through the underbrush outside the stone walls of their prison, binoculars in hand, SG-whatever watching for his every hand movement.

 

What wasn't artifice, what they all knew to be true was that if Jack O'Neill was still alive he'd come for them. They just had to hold on until he could get to them.

 

They didn't talk about what happened if Jack O’Neill wasn't alive.

 

*          *          *

 

They assumed it was night when they all ended up back in their cell -- when one of them was shoved into the prison but no one else was taken away. Maybe it was Ares getting bored, or maybe his Jaffa were just getting too busy to keep up the schedule, but they chose to think of it as night.

 

Daniel had scratched the days on the wall using a loose eyelet he'd picked off his boot.

 

 ~~||||~~ ~~||||~~ ||

 

Sam tried not to look at it anymore. She chose her corner on the same wall as the hashes so that she wouldn't have to see them. There was an extra corner – the colonel's corner -- so they had the luxury to choose.

 

And they had so few luxuries.

 

Stone floor with some sort of rough woven mat the texture of hemp. Some sort of bland but nontoxic gruel. Bucket of dirty water. Escorted trips to the latrine. Corners to fall apart in.

 

Four corners for the three of them.

 

Always a missing man.

 

*          *          *

 

It surprised her, how quickly the pain became debilitating, how it socked everything out of her. Her body didn't even have the energy to scream anymore. Sam had had plenty of injuries. She'd suffered hypothermia, broken bones, dislocations, and all sorts of bruises and strains. She didn't have a low tolerance for pain and she'd never been under any illusions that torture would be a walk in the park. But she never expected this.

 

The Jaffa hit her again and again with the pain stick. Over and over her whole body burned from the inside out -- every nerve ending raw from the searing energy, every muscle protesting as the currents in her body forced them to rigor and then back again. The little muscle filaments tore and chaffed, twisting into painful knots over and over again until the pain never really went away. There was pain and lesser pain. The burn of each blast and the ache in between. And there was the pain of sitting in the cell waiting for the next session.

 

But the thing that hurt Sam the most, that caused the nerves in her brain to ache too was that whether it was Ares or his Jaffa, there was only ever one question. 'Where was Colonel O’Neill?'

 

It was a question that was not in her power to answer. She couldn't stop the pain even if she wanted to. Sam couldn’t help thinking back to her Academy days and a lecture in a beginning psychology course. Someone had done an experiment that involved giving groups of dogs electric shocks. One group had a lever to press to make the shocks stop. The other group was tied to the first so that they got the same shocks for the same duration, but couldn’t do anything about them.

 

The dogs who had no control over their situation had just lain down and given up.

 

*          *          *

 

They were beyond talking. Even Daniel. Sam couldn't help thinking that Colonel O'Neill wouldn't believe it -- that he'd have some snappy comment about it not being possible. But the colonel’s opinion notwithstanding, they didn't talk anymore. They each sat in their corners crumbling.

 

It hadn't started that way of course. In the beginning they had been full of ideas for escape. They had tried to attack their guards. They had tried to short circuit the lock. They had looked for anything that could be used for escape or as a weapon. They had plotted and talked and planned. They were an ever changing pair. One was taken and the others continued to try to find their way out. The pain hadn't gotten the best of them yet. Hopelessness hadn't settled in like a smothering blanket.

 

They had still been SG-1.

 

And Daniel hadn't started counting the days yet.

 

The hash marks on the wall weren’t a complete record of their time in captivity. Sam didn't want to think about what they were really counting.

 

*          *          *

 

She didn't know! God, she didn't know! She hadn't seen what had happened. He'd been right behind them when they came out of the gate and into Ares’ ambush.

 

Their best guess was that Ares was a minor Goa’uld looking to upgrade his status by capturing SG-1. There had been staff blasts, the crackle of zats, the rat-tat of their P-90s, and somewhere the plink of a pistol. There had been smoke and confusion and a hundred Jaffa on top of them in a firefight like they hadn't seen in a while.

 

Sam didn't know what happened to the colonel. She didn't know where he went. But Ares didn't have him. And he couldn't have died in that first firefight because they wouldn't be asking about him.

 

They'd be celebrating over his broken corpse.

 

They wouldn't be asking her and Daniel and Teal'c a thousand times where he was.

 

Sam hoped he'd slipped away into the brush. She hoped that he was out there, coming for them.

 

But she didn't know.

 

She couldn't even scream it anymore. Her voice was hoarse and broken. It happened almost immediately now. The stick hit her in the gut and her voice broke in pain. Then she was left writhing and staring up at her captors with eyes that were begging them to stop.

 

She didn't know! God, she didn't know!

 

_Jack, where are you?_

 

Her mind screamed it with each unbearable flash of pain.

 

*          *          *

 

They dropped her at the entrance to the cell. She didn't have the legs to walk anymore. They dragged her to and from the torture room. She figured she didn't need to help them any. It turned out that her body could comply with that plan.

 

She crawled to her corner. Both Daniel and Teal'c glanced her direction, assuring themselves that she was still alive. The room swam in tension, each of them wondering who was next. Who would the Jaffa grab this time? There wasn't an order. The Jaffa liked to keep them guessing. At any time it could be any of them. Even the person they’d just brought back.

 

But the guards backed out and the door clanged shut behind them.

 

Another mark for Daniel's wall.

 

Sam let out a sigh of relief. But that was really a misnomer. There was no relief. Just temporary reprieve. A pause and not a pause that helped anymore. A bandage to stem the tide – a bandage that was soggy, tired, and coming apart at the seams. Janet would cluck at it.

 

Sam curled into her corner. Two, three times today she'd been out of the cell. Maybe only twice. Maybe more. Everything had a habit of hazing together like rain on the days when the clouds were so low she could see them crawling over the mountains and flowing down the other side on her way into work.

 

She wanted to fall apart. She wanted to sit in her corner and cry until there was nothing left inside her. But it didn't work. She’d tried it already, sobbing silently so that Daniel and Teal'c wouldn't hear her. She didn't have the energy anymore. She was beyond being able to fight and beyond being able to come apart.

 

She didn't know what that left.

 

Sam lifted her eyes when she heard the scratching.

 

 ~~||||~~ ~~||||~~ |||

 

*          *          *

 

He looked bad. Worse than usual. His skin was ashen and his lips dry. Sam tried to remember if he'd been gone longer than normal, but she didn't know. Time was reduced to hashes on a wall. There wasn't enough detail in those marks to know time to much precision. She watched him and she watched Daniel watch him. And the ground beneath them pitched and rolled.

 

"Teal'c?" Daniel asked, his voice a desiccated crack.

 

He sat in his corner without answering. He sat with his back straight and his eyes forward, looking at nothing, but Sam could see the cracks running down him in widening fissures.

 

Both she and Daniel had cracked. She'd heard his quieted sobs and seen the way his shadow hitched when he thought they were both asleep. But not Teal'c. Sam didn't know what a broken Teal'c would look like but she was terrified to find out.

 

"Teal'c?" she whispered softly.

 

He ignored her too, staring out unseeing while his face crumbled.

 

Sam left her corner and crawled toward him. She didn't know what she was going to do, didn't know if she could help in any way. But she was terrified that Teal'c was at his breaking point. And she couldn't watch that happen.  

 

"Teal'c?" she whispered in a voice that was unrecognizable as her own.

 

He stared out straight ahead, the composure of his whole body tenuous and taught as a balloon filled too far.

 

"Teal'c..." she started, but couldn't finish. She had no idea what to say. 'It's going to be alright' would sound oh so brutally hollow. Instead she stopped and just took his limp hand.

 

Everything changed in an instant. His hand bore down on hers painfully, becoming a crushing force. He turned to face her, his eyes filled with so much desperation, Sam almost gasped. He was breaking, right there in front of her. And the higher the wall the more it took out with it when it tumbled. His hand was still gripping hers and she was still looking up at him, watching the turmoil in his eyes.

 

Sam had to _do_ something.

 

She reached up with her free hand and touched his face, smoothing the skin along his chin, before folding herself against his rigid body in a hug. He didn't return it but continued to hold her hand tightly, holding onto her lifeline. She felt his muscles shaking -- spent from the hours of torture, but still rigid and desperately holding his whole body upright. She didn't know why they'd stopped comforting each other. Why they'd each taken to their own corners. At first there had been touches and pets, concern and hugs until it got to the point where maybe they were all so broken that they had nothing to give. But they needed this. She needed this. And she needed Teal'c to react. Sam wanted to feel close to someone.

 

She needed comfort.

 

And so did he.

 

Sam unburied her face from his neck and waited until he looked at her again. Then she leaned in even further and kissed him.

 

She meant it as a comfort. At least she thought she did, but Teal'c's reaction took her completely off guard. He returned her kiss with a needy, desperate crush of lips. His free hand was on her shoulder, pushing her back into the wall, his weight against her, holding her there. His tongue was in her mouth, rough and probing and it set her on fire. Sam hadn't thought she had any energy left, hadn’t thought she had anything to give herself much less anyone else, but she _needed_ this.

 

Sam snaked her hand behind Teal'c's neck and he stopped to stare into her eyes, suddenly the desperation and the turmoil and the crumbling in his were gone -- replaced by something ferocious. Sam was sure it was mirrored in her own. The ferocious need to connect. To feel something other than pain.

 

She kissed him back greedily and he pressed his weight into her. Pinning her. But she didn't feel trapped. She felt safe. Like they were squeezing their own space out of this horrible cell, making a place that was theirs.

 

Teal'c's hands were huge against her face. The muscles in his arms enormous under her grasping fingertips. Her voice was still broken and her body still ached, but she didn't feel so alone and miserable. She almost felt alive and she wanted to let that feeling carry her away from this hell hole.

 

And she would have, but Daniel was still there in his corner under his hash marks. Sam opened her eyes, turned her head and found him. His knees were pulled up in front of him, turned sideways to lean against the wall, studying the ground in front of him. Not looking at Teal’c and Sam. Studiously not looking at them.

 

Teal'c moved to kiss her neck and Sam watched Daniel over his shoulder. She waited, willing him to look up. He toyed with the fibers in the rough mat under him, picked at his bootlace, and finally, when Sam didn't think she could stand waiting anymore, he glanced up. His eyes slid past hers and then jerked back to catch them again. He stared at her and she stared back. Sam wondered if maybe he was hurt that she had gone to Teal'c and hadn't gone to him in the middle of the night when he had been at the point of breaking. Or maybe he felt left out. The odd man in the group of three. Either way, Sam didn't want him to feel that. She tried to tell him with her eyes -- tried to tell him that this wasn't about her or him or Teal'c. This was about surviving. All three of them. Any way they could.

 

Sam stared until finally he sighed and broke the eye contact.

 

"Daniel...please."

 

Her eyes were waiting for his when they met again, driving home the point as best she could. Teal'c had slowed, was lightly plucking kisses at her collar bone, waiting too. Sam inched her hand toward Daniel. He slowly blinked and then uncurled his body. Slowly he crossed the distance, his BDUs making scratching sounds against the rough mats.

 

And their separate corners became one.

 

Teal’c’s strong hands ran down her sides and tugged at the edges of her t-shirt, pulling it free from her BDUs. Sam took the hem and pulled it over her head quickly followed by the sports bra beneath it. Teal’c cupped her breast in his hand and then lowered his head to kiss her stomach. Sam was about to open her eyes, afraid that Daniel had retreated again when his lips brushed hers tentatively. She reached one arm up to comb through his hair while her other hand ran over Teal’c’s smooth shoulder. She pulled Daniel closer and into a harder kiss which he returned with more temerity. Sam sank into the almost overwhelming tangle of sensations. Daniel’s lips, Teal’c’s hands, the weight of Teal’c’s body against her, the strength in both their backs. They had more strength than they realized.

 

All of them.

 

Daniel kissed her greedily, one hand stroking lightly against her jaw, the other holding tightly to the back of her neck. Sam’s boots and BDUs found their way to the floor, and Teal’c was pulling her down, stretching her out on the rough mats, running his hands up her calves. She opened her eyes to see his. They were as intense as they were during the most heated battle. He did everything with such tightly restrained, but visible passion. Sam swallowed and sought out Daniel’s face above her as Teal’c’s hands made an agonizingly slow journey up her legs. Daniel’s blue eyes were dark and smoky, his hair tousled around his head, his lips slightly swollen and red. She pulled him back down, holding him tightly as she kissed him. His tongue found hers and gave her something to keep her grounded, something to hold her there as Teal’c finally touched her.

 

Sam arched back as Teal’c slid a finger inside her, knowingly stroking her clit with his thumb. Daniel held her tightly, pressing their lips together as she gasped his air. Teal’c’s stroking came faster, a second finger stretching her tauter as she came closer to the edge.

 

And then he stopped.

 

Sam groaned out her frustration, and opened her eyes. There wasn’t a hint of change to Teal’c’s expression, but Sam knew he was teasing her. She let out several panting breathes, the ache filling her with need. Teal’c pulled up to his knees, shed his clothing, and then straddled her. His cock was hard and glistening and she wanted him so badly, she was ready to start clawing ruts in the stone floor.

 

“Samantha Carter…”

 

“Yes. Please, Teal’c, yes.”

 

He slid inside her, filling her and taking away all the other pain. Taking away everything but the slow steady rhythm of his thrusting and the warm heavy feel of Daniel’s hands on her breasts. He was running his thumbs over her nipples and kissing her. Sam was lost in a flood of hands and tongue and cock. They were surrounding her, holding her, filling her with everything she needed. Teal’c began to thrust harder and faster, Sam’s body rocking with him. Daniel lowered his head to suck her nipple and she arched into them both. Teal’c started to pant faster, thrust harder. She couldn’t keep up. Then he grabbed her hip roughly, letting out a tightly restrained growl. He shuddered as he came, digging his fingers into her flesh, holding her tightly to him. Sam’s hands curled into fists, and Daniel kissed his way back to her mouth. She was teased and desperate and consumed with need.

 

Teal’c pulled away, panting slightly before falling at her side. Sam wondered if some look had passed between him and Daniel. If they had sent some signal or sign because Daniel was right there, coaxing her onto her side, propping her against Teal’c’s bulk. He wound his hands into her hair kissing the arch of her neck. Daniel used his foot to guide Sam’s leg over Teal’c’s. She snaked an arm around Teal’c’s well muscled shoulder, grabbing on and clawing him slightly. She let her damp head fall into the crook of his neck. Daniel threw his leg over theirs and then slowly entered Sam from behind. She gasped and was immediately back up on that cliff again, desperate to jump. His movements were more careful than Teal’c’s. He thrust slowly, moving deeply in and out of her as his hand slipped under her arm and found her breast. She relished the heat of his breath on her neck, his fingertips on her skin, the amazing friction between them, and the agonizing build of tension.

 

Then Teal’c reached down, finding her with his thumb again. She gasped and closed her eyes, letting all of it build higher and higher until finally she couldn’t breathe and it all came tumbling down.

 

Daniel wasn’t far behind. Together they shuddered and after-shocked together. Teal’c’s thumb still on her and Daniel still inside her.

 

Sam buried her head against Teal’c’s shoulder, overwhelmed tears coming up out of nowhere. Daniel realized it first. “Sam?” He sat up and even though she couldn’t see it, Sam knew exactly the concerned look on his face. “Sam, are you alright?”

 

She grabbed his hand and coaxed him back down, pulling him in tighter. She nodded as he gently stroked her hair. “Yes. I’m fine. I’m good,” she croaked.

 

For the first time in so many hash marks, she felt human again.

 

*          *          *

 

They stopped counting the days. It all tumbled together. They had to be careful. They talked about that. None of them wanted Ares to use this new reality against them. They were careful not to let the guards catch them together. At first they were only going to do it at night, but that resolve quickly slipped away. There were touches and caresses and furtive kisses in between. Sometimes Teal’c’s strong but careful touch, sometimes Daniel’s breath-stealingly soulful kisses. Sometimes Sam closed her eyes and wasn’t sure. Sometimes there were so many hands and mouths that she didn’t know who was where.

 

And she didn’t care.

 

They were surviving. They were back to themselves again. The pain that was still horribly debilitating wasn’t touching Sam where she lived anymore. She still hurt, but there was comfort. She still ached, but there was relief.

 

They all still longed for rescue. They still wanted the pain to finally end. But the desperation, the feeling of crumbling was gone. They could hold out. It wasn’t so bad.

 

They could all make it through this.

 

*          *          *

 

It didn’t surprise her. It surprised her more that they seemed to think it would surprise her.

 

Sam was dragged back from the torture room, her legs having given out entirely. As she dropped to the floor, she saw both Daniel and Teal’c turn, concern having long come back to their existence. They were both in their corners, but it had the feel of being carefully crafted, of having been contrived. And Sam was sure she could smell the slightest hint of sex in the air. Nothing was amiss, but she could see that things were different. She just hoped it wasn’t as obvious to the Jaffa who had shoved her to the floor as it was to her.

 

For a brief moment Sam wondered who they were going to take. It didn’t seem like it had been a full day yet. But the guards retreated and the door clanged closed and Sam let her cheek fall against the stone floor.

 

Daniel was by her side as soon as the clanking of booted feet retreated down the hallway. “Sam?”

 

She let the cool of the floor soothe away the heat that her overburdened nerves and muscles were still trying to shed. “I’m okay.”

 

His hand carefully combed through her hair, just gently enough to make her want to slip away into sleep. He was quiet for a few minutes, stroking her hair. “Sam, do you need …”

 

She closed her eyes. She was in pain, she was tired. Not tonight I have a whole body ache? It made her want to grin but even her face ached. “Not right now.”

 

“Oh. Okay.” She could hear the hint of guilt there.

 

Sam opened her eyes again. Teal’c was watching her carefully. It was funny how she’d gotten to the point where she thought she could see right through him. He’d always been a bit of an enigma, but now she could read his subtle movements, read what he never said.

 

“But don’t let me stop you,” she said still watching Teal’c. If there was a nod, and she was pretty sure there had been, it was subtle to the point where in the time before, she would have missed it.

 

“We, uh…” Daniel started and then cleared his throat.

 

“I know.” They’d been together in pairs and together as a group. It was no surprise that the two of them would be together when she was the one being tortured.

 

Sam shifted her head on the floor so she could get a better look at Daniel’s face. “I can’t move right now.” She closed her eyes and licked her lips, suddenly feeling bashful. But not so bashful. There was a little point in that. They were all asking for what they needed. “But I could watch.”

 

Daniel nodded slowly. “Oh.”

 

She wanted to tell him that for a linguist he could be awfully monosyllabic, but that was just too many sounds to push past her tongue. Besides, Teal’c’s face had a few crinkles that weren’t born of pain and it looked like he gave her a minute head bow again. Really, it was more like his eyelids bowed. But it was still beautiful.

 

Daniel crawled away, back to Teal’c’s corner. Sam watched as they kissed a greeting, an almost chaste recognition of each other. She watched Teal’c’s hand trace the line of Daniel’s chin and curl under, grasping his neck and pulling him into a deepening kiss. They quickly shed their clothes in tangles that surrounded their limbs, as entwined with them as they were with each other.

 

Teal’c leaned over Daniel, kissing him in a way that Sam could tell was crushing. Daniel was stroking his back, moving down his body and grabbing Teal’c’s ass. It wasn’t long before both of them were hard and stroking each other. Sam rested her cheek on the floor, watching them through the sideways view that afforded her. The torture left their bodies unmarred on the outside, the stiff and awkward way they moved the only hint of what they were enduring. Sam pushed that thought away and willfully focused on another. They were two amazingly attractive men. She took the opportunity to admire their muscular bodies – Teal’c’s bulging and massive, Daniel’s ropy and wiry, but still well-defined. She admired their lengthening cocks and the passion that infused both of them. The word lucky floated through her head before sanity reminded her of their circumstances. Lucky was not the word she wanted.

 

Teal’c wrapped his massive hand around Daniel’s cock, closing and stroking slowly. Daniel’s eyes were tightly shut and he let out a groan as Teal’c stopped at the base of his cock, holding him before stroking again. Daniel was panting and Sam noticed the way his hands had balled into fists at his side. He was very quickly getting close and Teal’c leaned in, breathing on his cock before taking the end of it in his mouth. Daniel immediately stiffened and let out a long, shuddery moan before his whole body relaxed and he let out a huge sigh.

 

He opened his eyes and the look there made Sam want to cry. Lazy and lax and relieved. The things that would keep them alive. The things that would keep them sane.

 

Then Daniel pulled himself up, put a hand on each of Teal’c’s shoulders, and pushed him to the floor in a way that would not be possible if not for Teal’c submitting. Daniel ran rough hands over Teal’c’s bare chest, stopping to pinch both his nipples. Teal’c’s jaw tightened and his eyes closed. Daniel worked his way lower and as Sam watched, took the majority of Teal’c’s cock into his mouth. He held Teal’c there and then drew back, causing Teal’c to groan. Then he began to circle Teal’c’s knob with his tongue, stroking along Teal’c’s shaft with his free hand. Sam knew that Daniel was skilled with his tongue. He’d proven it on several occasions with her and she wasn’t surprised when he very quickly brought Teal’c to the edge and beyond. Teal’c’s whole body tensed and shook before relaxing to the floor in a heap with Daniel.

 

Sam lifted her head and found enough energy to crawl to them. Daniel held out an arm and pulled her into their pile of limbs, gently kissing the back of her neck and caressing her shoulder. She curled into them, the dampness of their skin and the warmth of their embrace comforting her to sleep.

 

*          *          *

 

How many days?

 

Sam had no idea. All she knew was that they had moved back to their corners. She was in a daze – dosing but not able to sleep, curled on her side with the mat as an inadequate pillow.

 

The first blast was just enough to rouse her -- enough that her brain registered that something was different. The second blast rippled by her, still not catching, still not quite making sense. By the time the third blast rolled around she managed to pull herself upright. Teal’c had already dragged himself to his feet, leaning against the wall for support, but his face was trained on the sound of grenade blasts and weapons fire. Daniel wasn’t far behind.

 

 

It danced in the air like the first snow.

 

Sam tried to stand but her legs were jelly. She crawled towards the door, not having done anything but let the guards drag her in way too long. Teal’c lurched forward along the wall, fighting his way toward the door. They waited and listened as the sounds of battle raged and then subsided.

 

“Daniel? Carter? Teal’c?”

 

They heard the familiar voice bellowing out in the hallway. Sam wanted to yell, wanted to let out the relief and excitement and joy that was quickly filling her chest to the point of drowning, but her battered body couldn’t. Her voice was nothing but a crack.

 

“O’Neill,” Teal’c said for them all, what was left of his rich, deep tone enough to carry though the door.

 

“Teal’c!” Colonel O’Neill yelled back.

 

They heard him pounding on the door, heard the crackling zat blast, heard the door creak open.

 

Sam lifted her head in time to see Colonel O’Neill push through the door, SG-whatever on his heels. She saw the look on his face, the relief turned shock turned stamped down fury. They had to look a mess. And the knowledge of that sapped any energy she might have had left. Sam sank back to the floor, trying to catch her breath.

 

“Medic!” the colonel yelled back out into the hallway. Then he ducked under Teal’c and led him back down to the floor too. He checked to see that Daniel was okay and then gave Sam’s shoulder a squeeze. “You okay, Carter?” he asked.

 

Sam nodded, knowing the state of her voice would just make him worry.

 

“You know, I’m a little hurt that you guys had a party without me. Did you even miss me?”

 

She smiled.

 

“Well, if it hadn’t taken you so long, you could have been part of the party, Jack,” Daniel croaked.

 

“Hey, I was a bit busy, trying to figure out how to save your asses.”

 

Teal’c lifted his head and Sam was sure she could see the barest hints of a smile. “Our asses appreciate your efforts, O’Neill.”

 

The medic arrived and started with Daniel. Sam saw a litter out in the hallway. She smiled through the pain, knowing they were about to finally leave. About to get out of there, alive and intact. More or less anyway. The relief was real this time, not a stopgap, not just survival. Real relief.

 

“We could have waited longer, sir,” she said.

 

**Epilogue**

 

"It must have been hard, enduring torture for such a long period of time."

 

Sam crossed her arms and let her eyes wander away, looking for something in the barren room to give them purchase. "It was."

 

"Most people in situations like that develop coping mechanisms."

 

Sam stared across the desk at Dr. MacKensie. She didn't want to tell him anything. It wasn't that she was ashamed of what happened. She wasn't. It was just that she wanted to keep it between the three of them. She knew that Teal’c would probably never tell anyone. It curled her lips a little to think of him sitting in this office, a vaguely threatening look in his eyes, and MacKensie with this clinical detachment faltering in the face of Jaffa resolve. She didn’t know if Daniel would tell MacKensie or keep it to himself. She didn’t really care. That was for him to decide. Sam however, planned to keep it to herself. Their relationship had kept them alive, given them a reason to keep going. They placed their lives in each other’s hands all the time. This time they had just laid themselves a little more bare. She wasn’t going to have that dissected and probed, turned under a microscope by anyone who wasn’t there. As far as she was concerned, it wasn’t open for study -- as much as that might go against her character.

 

“So what methods did you have for coping with the enduring pain and uncertainty of the situation?”

 

Sam smiled wanly. “We kept our heads down. Tried to get as much sleep as possible.”

 

MacKensie looked up at her with a willfully blank expression. “Sleep?”

 

She nodded slowly. “Yes. We spent a lot of time trying to sleep off the pain.”

 

He scribbled something down in his book. “Any you suffering from any lingering effects? Any nightmares, insomnia, lack of appetite?”

 

“No. No nightmares, no insomnia and I’m eating just fine.”

 

He nodded slightly, and Sam was sure he didn’t believe her. He checked his watch and dismissed her, making it clear that there would be more sessions in her future. He wasn’t going to let this go that easily.

 

Sam made her way out into the hallway. She could hold out longer than he could and he’d already cleared them all for active duty, so she didn’t need to placate him. And it wasn’t like she was lying, exactly. Just leaving a few things out. No nightmares, or at least not as bad as some of the nightmares she’d had after other missions. No insomnia, or at least not that was getting in the way of doing her job. It gave her extra time for research anyway. She did have a good appetite. That was true.

 

Lingering effects weren’t so easy for Sam to brush off. She thought about the buzz of tension she felt between them in the briefing room. The way that when she caught Teal’c’s eye sometimes she wanted to melt against him. Or the way that Daniel always paid extremely close attention to her when she was talking. She thought about how Jack seemed to be the odd man out on the last off-world mission.

 

Sam walked down the hallways, heading toward her lab and a small gadget that SG-11 had brought back from their latest trip through the gate. She knew it would make a reasonably good distraction, a way to empty her mind of the thoughts that MacKensie had dredged up.

 

Sam didn’t want there to be lingering effects.

 

But how could there not be?

 

\-----------------------

-knightshade

September 30, 2007

 

 


End file.
